Live and not Survive

It scares me…
It scares me that one day, I’d lose this innocence inside of me…
It scares me that one day I’d lose this compassion, this heart of mine that is so tender it breaks at the sight of the more unfortunate than I…
It scares me that one day all the evil in this world would just be too much for me,
That I’d just turn my back on every assaulted and battered and weak because I’ve had too much pain seeing them
It scares me that one day I’d see this world for what it is to other people, not for how it is with me
Because I see a world full of potential,
Of love, of care, of every good hidden by the thick miasma of evil
My eyes see through the dark veil and pierce the beauty of life;
Of the teary-eyed smiles of the people surrounding the newly wedded bride and groom,
Of the excitement felt by hearing a newborn cry for the first time,
Of the booming laugh of a father hearing his son say “Dada” for the first time,
Of the tears of a mother letting go of her daughter for the man she’ll love for the rest of her life,
Of the children crying, and begging their parents to never give up on them…
Of the smiles shared by strangers, the food given freely to the homeless, the hand offered to the old lady crossing a street…
Of the lovers whispering endearment under a sky full of stars, and the shouting of friends glad to see each other after a long time…
I see a lot of good in this world, and yet a lot of people focus on what isn’t.
I’m scared one day I’d be like them,
That I’d lost the luster in my eyes and just live without living…
What good does it do to live like that?
I’m scared…
I’d like to live life, not survive it.