Harassed Again

It’s fucked up how almost 2 months have gone and I am posting about sexual harassment AGAIN. 

We were walking innocently towards our apartment when this guy followed us and he came up behind me, pushed behind my back and touched my butt while he groaned. I was caught off guard as a shiver of fear ran through me but my body reacted first; I moved away from him while shouting an involuntary ‘fuck’ then I punched his chest. He moved away and I screamed “Fuck you! Fuck you” and I wish I could have done more than scream that helpless litany towards my assailant. I wanted to go and kick him, punch him in the face but the moment he looked back, fear went through me again and I ran inside, chased by my friend who could do nothing but stood frozen on the sidewalk beside me. If I had a gun, I would have shot that fucker and never regretted it. He didn’t regret what he did anyway. 

And if in some fucked up case you think I was worth being violated, I wasn’t. Nothing in me warranted violation in these fucker’s eyes but he still did. I was dressed in a black dress that went until my ankles, had cardigan over it, and I am fat so I felt like no one would want to touch me but I was wrong. An assailant would attack whenever he wants to whomever he wants to. 

So for all of you sick psychopaths who thinks it’s allowed to touch someone against their will, I curse you all to hell and wish your reproductive organs rot and be as useless as your brains.

 I have never been violated in my own country, no matter how poor my country is, at least we have manners. This fucking Arab country is so filled with fucked up perverted shitheads that I wish I could go home immediately and never go back. I wish I never came here.

Sexual Harassment

Do you know how it feels like to be touched against your will while seeing the obvious intent clear on your assailant’s eye?

It starts with you feeling the awful mixture of dread, horror and disgust suddenly surging through your system, making you incapable of forming an argument until it is over. When it’s over,the awful remembrance of the incident replaying through your head at every moment you are caught off guard. The inescapable memory of his hands violating you, filling you with those emotions and starting the cycle all over again.

Remember that the next time you harass someone sexually. Remember that you’re taking a little light from your victim, amd may that light that vanished dim your world as well. May you be consumed with guilt; oh how I wish you drown in your guilt and suffocate. Nobody deserves to be violated, be it a male or female.

I wish I could erase the memory but I can only curse now. I can only mutter fuck you’s as I care for the man who told me nasty things and touched my butt without my consent. I am a nurse, I don’t get paid for you to violate me.

 Fuck you.